It’s been emotional…
Those who are close to me will know I’ve been through a pretty horrendous break up. And as complicated as break ups are, there’s always so much more emotional strain where there’s a child involved. Not to mention the financial pressure and upheaval too. I’m not going to go into details (you can read a more honest account HERE), as that’s a bit too personal for the blog.
But I do want to share a few things that have helped me through this rough time, there were points where I struggling to see the light st the end of the tuner. But I’m out the other side now and loooing back there are some core things that got me through.
- Don’t be afraid to talk about it – For so long I tried to keep it to myself and brush over everything, but as I slowly started talking about it to friends and familyhelped me process it and I wished I’d done it sooner. If you’re not ready to talk to people personally, write it down. I wrote a blog post and felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. It opened up the topic without me having to explain it to everyone and I found out that so many people were in the same boat as me. So many women, mothers, friends are suffering in silence and I’m glad I put it out there.
- Surround yourself with positive people – For me this is a no brainier. There are people out there who thrive on other people misery and drain you of energy, when you see them or talk to them they leave you feeling negative. Cut them out! Meet up with people who radiate positive energy and make you feel uplifted! You’ll be surprised st those who coke out of the woodwork who really do care and are their to lend an ear or shoulder to cry on. Even if they don’t understand or can’t give you advice, they can keep you company and take your mind off of things.
- Keep yourself busy – On the note of keeping your mind off of things: focus all that energy, hurt and sorrow into something positive and productive. I focused energy into blogging again, I went months without writing because I was dealing with so much internally and was ready to bust out when I washed that man out of my hair. It was a huge culture shock having someone by my side alll the time, to being completely alone. I mostly liked it and had a huge sense of relief, but there were moments that I struggled. So I made sure I gave myself the blog to focus on. I also cooked and baked a lot. Watched my favourite youtubers. Took time to improve my skincare and hair care routine and generally looked after myself better.
- Take time to heal yourself – I had more time to get into better regimes with my skincare and beauty which made me realise how important self care and self love is during this time. Self care is a huge importance anyway, but even more so when you’re going through something rough like a break up. This is the perfect time for introspection, use it to focus on what you like, what you don’t like, what your needs and desires are and what energises you. Explore yourself. Grow and evolve. I wrote a whole post about self love and care for the lovely Bee of QueenBeady.com, read it HERE!
- Reach out to family – I struggle a lot with pride. So it’s been really hard for me to admit that I’m struggling and need help. But now I know my family will always be my biggest support and help. This may not be the case for everyone, and I’m so lucky to have been able to fall back on my family, but they will always do what they can to help and support you, in their own little way.
My promise to you…
If you’re going through a break up. I promise you, things WILL get better. It’s true what they say about time healing all. It may take a month, or 3 months, but eventually the wounds will turn into scars, which will fade and become part of you. Part of your history and shape you into a stronger person. A fighter.
If you were like me and are in a toxic, twisted relationship and feel trapped. Be brave. It took me a long time to decide that i deserved better. But i decided no matter how hard it was, it was going to be better than living a miserable life. If that’s where you currently are, then please reach out to me. I’m here to chat to any of my readers who are going through this. I am the shining example that you can do it. You can create a life for yourself and find the path to happiness. You just have to be brave. And you are!
Never miss a post with Bloglovin’